


journal writing

by cagedream (orphan_account)



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-08 21:59:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1957617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/cagedream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank read Cat's personal journal</p>
            </blockquote>





	journal writing

 

_"Frank get your filthy ass here!" I screamed at my brother. I can't believe he had been reading my journal over these weeks and found out that I like someone and told them! But the worst part is that he didn't tell the right brother which makes everything a lot more stupid._

_"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I didn't know that it wasn't him, I promise!"_

_"Promise my ass, you idiot! Even if so, how could you?" I've been chasing him around over an hour right now and let me tell you that the fact that my aim is shit, I sure as hell don't give up that easily. All of the dark green cushions of our comfy couch are now sprawled on the floor next to everything that came into my hands while chasing him, such as some shoes, kitchen towels, and gloves. The whole first floor looks horrible but then again, thank you mom for staying at aunt Sophie's house for the weekend._

_I am not in the best physical state but the house isn't that big so I manage to run after Frank from our living room that provided me with those green pillows, to kitchen with mom's superhard kitchen towels, and the last but not the least- the glorious hallway with mom's black leather gloves that I am now smacking him with._

_"I'm sorry! I'm sor-" I slapped him pretty hard on the face and hit his eye, "ENOUGH! I SAID I'M FUCKING SORRY, SIT AND CALM DOWN, WE'LL FIGURE THIS OUT."_

_"HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN, THEY ARE COMING OVER AND YOU FUCKING TOLD HIM TO BRING ME SOME FUCKING FLOWERS WHILE I DON'T EVEN LIKE HIM AND CLEARLY HE DIDN'T EVEN LIKE ME JUST BEFORE YOU FUCKING TOLD HIM THAT I MIGHT, FRANK YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE, A COMPLETE IDIOTIC FUCKSHIT ASSHOLE!" I am flaming right now, my hand movements have stopped and now I am mentally hurting my stupid ass brother because he's such a girl for telling him, I just can't believe him!_

_"Feel better?" Frank asks me after a moment._

_"Uh.. yes, thanks," I sigh and try to get off from his face, "you're still an asshole."_

_"I'm sorry, come here." he wraps me up in a hug and squeezes._

_"So how do we tell him that you don't really like him but his brother?" Frank chuckles while letting me go of the hug. If you look at this situation not from my point of view, you can clearly see that it's fucking hilarious and dumb. How can it not be? I mean, there's this snoopy older brother that has found his sister's journal that her therapist made her write. And that refers to writing completely everything in it, from complete utter bullshit of some awful breakfast eggs to suicidal thoughts that end up being song lyrics, and love confessions on one of the already mentioned brother's best friends. And that's mean to make her life easier by putting everything on the paper and clearing the packed mind but it turns out that it just made everything even worse. The brother decided to tell these love news to one of his best friends that actually wasn't the one the sister was crushing on due to her being really sneaky and just mentioning his surname in stupid pun jokes and writing about his eye color. And from that you can get it all confused because no first name is mentioned, the eye color is the same just like their last name and my brother is a complete idiot because he told the wrong Way brother that I liked him! And now the chasing and raging part of the story is over but the remaining one of having guests over for a movie weekend illegally (mom doesn't know) and cleaning up part is still to go. Not to mention that the 'serving guests' part has those two brothers and I have to be alright with both of them because one is bringing me flowers and will try to flirt while I will feel super uncomfortable liking his brother and not being able to do anything about it._

_Life is awesome._

_"I think we should maybe just tell him the truth?.." I ask warily, not really sure of the idea._

_"NO! No way, I mean that would just crush him, I don't want that,"_

_"Then what do you suggest then? I can't just fucking pretend that I like him," I really can't, sorry nopenopenope. He's awesome, he really is. I would actually consider him as one of my best friends too but it doesn't go further than being just friends. He is kind, sweet, smart, good looking, and his music taste is really a lot like mine, and we both like to do artsy stuff but we're friends, nothing else, sorry not sorry. His brother though.._

_"I'm not trying to say that you need to like him back, just uhm.. I don't know.. just.. Maybe pretend that you don't know that I said anything?"_

_"Do you mean I should just pretend that I don't know that you told him that I like him while I don't really like him but I pretend that I like him?"_

_"What did y-, okay you lost me at that question, what I meant was, just be yourself like you don't know that I did tell him,"_

_"So I need to act like you just messed up? Figured the wrong guy out?"_

_"Yeah that works too," And that's how things got planned and mind was put on ease, but just a little bit because fuck! The brother is still coming! Note to shaking hands and anxiety rising slightly._

_In about thirty minutes we both managed to clean up the mess we both made and heard the doorbell ring its tone. I think my heart is going to take a walk on the wild side through my throat up, in mouth, and run away with me while I'm trying to walk as fast as possible into the kitchen to hide behind a counter while trying to fix some drinks._

_"You are dumb," Frank chuckles. Well yes, dear brother, I cannot refuse such an honor of being dumb, paranoid, and useless in any social situation._

_"It's only Ray!" He shouts from the front door. Oh shit, I think I've never felt so relieved in my whole life._

_"Thanks for the love, Frank, I know you missed me," Ray's been away for a week to visit his grandparents so this Friday night is some sort of a 'welcome back' party while we all know that it really isn't a party. We all know that my brother and his friends are the Dorks of my Universe. They are practically my only friends besides Christa (Ray's girlfriend) who couldn't be here tonight because she pissed her parents off while staying with Ray outside past her curfew. Not to mention they were ten minutes late and her mom wasn't home and her dad isn't really supportive of her daughter dating anyone. I am super happy that she has Ray because I don't know anyone more appropriate for her AND her father's standards. Due to my mental and physical state, I'm the most anxious and cough-full person ever which resulted in me being home schooled and a doctor's number on my speed dial. My brother's not better, though he can get sick pretty easily, his mental state is better though and thanks for that, he's my biggest rock. But still an asshole. A lovable asshole._

_Anyway, he's here and I love him and I am thankful that my other older brother is and not the Way brother. This results in me tackling Ray into a bone crushing hug from my run from the kitchen._

_"Rayrayrayrayrrayyy you are backkkkk! I missed you sosososo much!"_

_"Hey, how come you never greet me like that?" Frank scoffs though you can hear the humor in his voice. I attach myself from my superhairy bro-Fro._

_"Because you are an asshole," I have just finished my sentence when Ray butts in._

_"What did you do again, Frank?"_

_"He fucking told Gerard I like him!"_

_"WHAT?"_

_"I said I was sorry!"_

_"That doesn't mean that he knows that I don't like him and is okay with that!"_

_"Wait, I thought that you like Mikey!"_

_"I do!"_

_"Then what-"_

_"RAY KNOWS THAT YOU LIKE HIM BUT YOUR OWN BROTHER DOESN'T? WHAT THE FUCK, CAT?"_

_"Frank calm down, Christa told me," yeah she did. It was horrible, I told her as she is my only female friend and asked her what to do so of course, she told Ray and they both tried to screw into my brains the fact that I need to tell him while I just ran away because I can't! I simply can't tell him.. he's just too good for me and plus he's Frank's best friend, which means that if the things work out but then don't, it'll put my brother in a sticky situation and I don't want that. Plus what would he like about me? I need to swallow pills every twelve hours to keep my mind alright, my social skills are just a tiny bit above zero, I leave this house rarely, my own father doesn't even come to see me so why would any guy want me? Especially Mikey? and I want to cry. He is really awesome, smart, and funny. He likes comics just as much as I do and it's always great to listen to him talk about them with others. And do I need to start with his eyes?_

_I seriously need to stop expecting things and I need to stop being such a girl. Look out, world! I am ready to grow old in my mother's house, in my room, without anyone besides me because I really don't believe anyone will ever like me, no one has ever said or even looked at me but it's normal, If I will leave the house I will get sick (as I usually do so my doctor kindly forbids me going outside in public places)._

_All in all there's no hope in me falling in love and receiving it back._

"I want to rise our glasses to the beautiful couple tonight," Frank starts his over prepared speech that mom and Jamia bugged him to do.

"As Roland Hearst has said "All love is real in the pain that you feel.. or heal, ugh.." he searches for the paper that he wrote the speech of in his pants front pocket.

"Ok, you know what? I can do this without the paper," the wave of oh no's are heard from all over the place, "Hey! I'm not that bad, I wrote it all myself.. Anyway, all the best words come from the heart so I'll try again."

"Uh.. I'll start with, I'll start with the moment I first saw my annoying sister," the place erupts in laughter and I smile to myself watching my brother struggling with his speech, "I was just a kid myself but I remember her big brown eyes and dad holding her while ushering me closer so I could take a look at Caterina Isabella Iero. Both names from our crazy grandma's let me tell you. Anyway, I was scared out of my mind, she was so tiny! But then she smiled and grabbed my finger a bit too tight. In that moment I knew that I love her and that I'll always protect her. It turned out that I couldn't protect her from everything," he smiles sadly at me. "Health sucks, tiny. Until the glorifying age of 10 we both knew nothing about socialization but the life turned to a good corner and we moved here. And this is the moment when Mikey comes on the story. It was my first day of school and the first person I bumped into the school gates was Mikey. He had his glasses and hair all over the place but what caught my eye was his Iron Maiden shirt that later on I found out that was really Gerard's. Back on the track, we were friends immediately and later on we grew into more than friends-"

"I thought that you and Gerard shared past!" I interrupted Frank.

"Well I like both of the Ways, so.." and people started to laugh again, "So yeah, besides my romance filled past, we grew into more than friends, he became my brother and the thought of my best friend and my sister being together makes me feel like I've done something right reading your journal, Cat."

_"Fuck, he's coming!" I whisper-shout as I see Mikey and Gerard coming down the driveway._

_"Isn't Gerard with him?"_

_"No time for jokes, Fro, I'll just go and hang myself, okay?" just a bit dramatic. But what am I supposed to do? I am back on the kitchen floor, hiding behind the counter and sipping my lemon juice. A great hiding place, if the WWIII begins, call me- I'll know what to do. I hear the front door opening and I feel like I'm going to puke. Holy shit, they are here._

_"Hey, is she here?" Gerard, holy shit, you can't be more forward._

_"Toro! Thank God you are back," Mikey. Holy shit, I am puking internally and imaginably. I don't really think I'm ready to face them._

_"Cat?! Ways came!" Thank you Frank Fucking Anthony Asshole Idiot Iero. I like the name, it fits him. I chuckle at my lame joke as the lights in the kitchen turned on. Shit._

_"Cat. What are you doing on the floor with the carton of juice between your legs and a straw between your teeth?"_

_"Uhm.. I'm sucking the precious, Michael," this is my idea of flirting. I am such a potato._

_"That sounds wrong in so many ways," Mikey smiles while putting a bag of junk food on the counter._

_"Do I need to point out the 'way' pun?" I reply as Mikey laugh and helps me up. His hands are cold and unconsciously I rub his hand between the two of mine to make it warm. Well I couldn't make this more awkward. I blush, and take my hands away. Superawkward._

_"So, uh, you need any help?" I ask changing the subject. If you can call it that._

_"Oh, uh, yeah, uh Frank told me to talk to you about getting things in bowls and ready for the, uh, night?" That asshole._

_"Uh, sure," and that's how our first date went like. Yeah right. It was just a painfully awkward experience while trying to talk normally and trying to stop blush whenever we touched or he pointed something about me out._

_**_

_"So you like my brother instead of me?" Gerard corners me in the kitchen. Why does things like these keep happening here?_

_"Uh.. I am tired of this, so please let me get one thing straight, what did Frank tell you?"_

_"Number one," Gee started counting the reasons on his fingers with a frowning expression, "I'm hurt, number two, you couldn't be much more obvious, and number three- yeah Frank kind of told me."_

_"That fucker," I mutter under my breath while putting resting my head in my palm._

_"Hey but look on the bright side, we could play spin the bottle now."_

_"WHAT? NO WAY, GERARD WAY!"_

***

"And that's how they almost had their first kiss," Gerard spoke the second time. "I honestly can tell you tons of embarrassing big brother stories but unfortunately we don't have the whole day. Let's raise our glasses for these two people who have found each other, to my brother and sister, cheers!"

As the night went on and our family and friends congratulated us and made us drink every ten minutes, we found ourselves on the dance floor and ready for our first dance. We are the worst dancers apart but together, together we don't feel stupid that we are. Mikey takes my hand and leads me in the center of the dance floor.

"They all are staring at us like they are possessed," Mikey whispers in my ear as he puts his left arm around my waist and holds me tighter to him.

"I'll get the salt and holy water, while you bring the spell book," I whisper right back and we hold each other impossibly close while swaying our bodies in the melodies of many guitar solos that Ray made for us as a present for the wedding, not to mention that we both are in love with this mix.

"I love you," we whisper in the same time and laugh.

_Through everything that we have gone to end up here is the greatest thing in the world. Life sucks but we have our family, our friends and most importantly- we have each other. From that stupid writing in my journal to a wedding with him was a long road to go. From seeing him with others to being with him in his rough days, from my hospital teenage years to years of healing thanks to him has set us here. From the first look to the first sign of courage on our lips, from the first dance to this, to this new life that's ahead of us. From past to the future, we finally are ready to live. -Cat Way_


End file.
